Week 3: Reflection

I’ve been struggling with what to write today because I’ve had so much going on recently. I’ve been so stuck on trying to write something perfect it’s kept me from writing at all. I was watching my friend’s YouTube video and she inspired me to just write even if it’s not exactly how I wanted it to be. So maybe I’ll write about that but while I’m still processing I just want to write a quick check in on my time so far. 

Being a perfectionist is trash. I’ve always struggled with trying to do everything perfectly, so you can imagine how learning a different language is a bit difficult. I’ve been trying to push myself to struggle through speaking even if I mess up but it’s hard. If you’re a perfectionist like me you get that messing up is not the worst part but it’s after when you can’t help but thinking over the mistake over and over again. I’m way to hard on myself is what I’ve been realizing. I’ve only been here for 3 weeks, it’s going to take a whole lot of time to improve than that.

I’m so grateful for my friends I’ve made here so far. Especially my friend Maria who’s really been there for me academically, emotionally, and I think it’s so important to have supportive friends around you because it makes a difference. I’ve been in some horrible learning environments before but this is by far the best. When I don’t get something the professors and my classmates explain it to me until I get. The staff at the Umbra Institute are also so helpful, I’m grateful to be surrounded by such wonderful people. And I seem to meet great people almost everyday I’m here.

I got a little overwhelmed last week so me and my friends went to Rome for the day which was amazing to visit just for a day. I realize I often forget about how great of an experience this is when I get stuck in my head and focus on everything that’s going wrong. I’m still learning and I have a lot more room to grow.

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It’s funny just when you think you have everything figured out, you realize you actually don’t know anything lol. I’m reminded everyday how much more I still have to figure out and that’s okay, life is about growing everyday. For me I sometimes feel that a part of being an adult is acting like you have everything figured out. A wise person told me that it’s okay to not know everything and just go with the flow.

If I had a euro for every time someone told me to go with the flow, I would be a millionaire. Being a perfectionist you hear that all the time. It’s difficult but I’ve been making an effort to force myself to just go with the flow.

Italian Phrase of the Week: “Le cose belle arrivano quando non le cerchi” – Beautiful things come when you’re not looking.

And this is what I ultimately learned this week; when I wasn’t worrying and just going with the flow I really enjoyed myself. I’m going to continue forcing myself to go with the flow because honestly it’s WAAAAYYYYY better than worrying and over thinking.

LESSON NUMBER 5: Go with the flow.

Like I said this isn’t a new lesson for me but, sometimes it’s important to relearn something more than once, especially when you’re not putting it into practice. Maybe being an adult is just about being open to learning new and old things.